NCAA Championship Game Tweets

A collection of my tweets from Monday night’s championship game… Enjoy!

6:01 – How the hell did Diddy get this intro? And are there any actual lyrics in this song? All I hear is “let’s work.”

5:58 – All the experts are picking Duke. I’m gonna say it right now, Butler is winning this thing.

6:07 – Anyone else realize what BS that NCAA “Where does the money go” commercials is? Short answer: into the pockets of our executives.

6:08 – I’m sorry, the money is not going to the kids. It’s just not. And anyone who believes otherwise is delusional.

6:11 – Over/under on how many coaches Tracy Wolfson has slept with: five. I would bet every dollar I have that she’s done Nick Saban.

6:21 – As much as I hate bandwagon Duke fans, the Duke student section is the best in college sports. The Cameron Crazies have no equal.

6:22 – Side note – Did you know Duke only has 6,000 undergrads. Seriously. (http://tinyurl.com/y8cc5f2) Makes the Cameron Crazies that much more impressive.

6:37 – I think Don “Moose” Lewis (http://tinyurl.com/ya33ltr) would love how this game is going right now. Very fundamental.

6:39 – I don’t know if there’s a single first-rd draft pick on either of these teams. I think Singler and Zoubek could make a roster, but that’s it.

6:48 – Butler is making ALL the hustle plays. And Duke just got its second traveling call in two minutes. Seriously…

7:03 – “Veasley’s gotta think about pulling that out, giving up so much size inside, after whipping it out.” – Clark Kellogg

7:08 – Jukes missed the dunk. The only black player on the court just blew a dunk. SMH.

7:12 – The first commercial for the Apple Maxipad. Am I the only person that realizes this thing is just a laptop without a keyboard?

7:19 – They’re replaying the Da’Sean Butler–Bob Huggins makeout. Priceless.

7:24 – I love Evan Turner, I think he’s one of four players this year who will make it in the NBA. POY he is not.

7:25 – Ask yourself this question: If you were making a college basketball team, who would your first pick be?

7:25 – If you said anyone other than John Wall, you’re either an idiot or just lying to yourself.

7:28 – Greg Gumbel’s perm still bothers me.

7:36 – I just looked up Greg Gumbel on Wikipedia and he’s 63-years-old. He’s 63! That’s incredible. This makes his perm even more offensive.

7:38 – I just realized how much Zoubek looks like Zangief from Street Fighter down there on the block.

7:45 – When did Kyle Singler become the white LeBron James?

7:47 – Seriously. Who is this kid in the Kyle Singler jersey? Because it can’t be Kyle Singler. I refuse to believe it.

7:51 – I’m going to start calling Zoubek “Zangief.” It’s official.

7:52 – Big basket by Zangief.

7:53 – Zangief gets his fourth foul. Damn it! I’ve been entertaining myself by imagining him cursing at the referees in broken Russian.

7:54 – Side note: I live in a house with two other supposed-heterosexual males and I am on the couch watching this game alone.

8:11 – Zangief puts too much mustard on the ball and throws it into the backcourt. I’m imagining him cursing in Russian again.

8:17 – There’s a little less than five minutes left and one of two things is going to happen: Singler is going to become a Duke legend or he’s going to lose them the game.

8:18 – Singler has absolutely taken over this game. He’s been the best player on the floor, by a mile, all night. This is officially his game.

8:24 – Duke finally makes a “we want it more” play to force a jump ball. That was big.

8:26 – Singler travels. I think the pressure might be getting to him.

8:28 – Holy shit! Howard just nailed the layup in Zangief’s grill. I imagine Zangief screaming, “Idi na xuy husesos! Mne pohui!”

8:28 – I google’d Russian swear words.

8:29 – Duke up one, 49 seconds left. Duke ball. It’s gotta go to Singler. It’s just gotta. Coach K must know this.

8:30 – Singler bricks off the front of the rim. Yup, pressure got to him.

8:30 – Great rebound by Zangief, by the way. Too bad he lost it off his foot.

8:33 – And we’re back. Butler down one, 13.6 seconds left. Butler ball. Just realized Butler has no go-to guy.

8:34 – Zangief is guarding the inbound pass. He forces Butler to use its last time out. “Na kaleni, suka!”

8:35 – Hayward on the fadeaway jumper?! WHAT?! You have got to be kidding me.

8:35 – Great play by Zangief. He’s been great .

8:37 – The heave…oh…wow. That was close. If you didn’t like that game, you hate America.

8:38 – Zangief runs down the court screaming, “Pokazhi pizdu detka! Pokazhi pizdu detka! Pokazhi pizdu detka!”